In the previous article, we tackled remorse that leads man to repentance, thus, changing his life to the better. We presented the story of the ruthless Peter who was quite cruel to the poor. Yet, he was changed into a loving, merciful person who would serve everybody.
Yet, there is another kind of remorse which fills one’s heart with negative feelings. It leads man to despair, having consumed his mind in draining, off-putting, unchangeable, thoughts. Hence, man either falls, or his life stops. This remorse can either spring from regretting a previous stance or decision, or even the opposite. One might regret not seizing the opportunity of taking a job or traveling. Another might regret having been overconfident in certain people who, later, proved being unworthy of confidence. Likewise, a person may regret doing good to certain people who he discovers to be deceptive or undeserving. Hence, he expresses remorse by saying, “I do not regret doing the wrong thing only. Rather, I regret doing the right thing to the wrong people.”
Reasons of remorse differ from one person to another. But there are some certain things one should be aware of:
– Remorse is conducive to depression and negative feelings. So, hurry up and make use of it in order to correct your mistake or change your life positively. Do not waste your time and energy in ruminating bad thoughts, lest you get entrapped in their pains. If you made a mistake, do not make another by stumbling into the pitfall of remorse. Remorse is the second evil, sages say.
– He who makes no mistakes makes nothing. All humans err, but they gain experience from these mistakes, thus, edifying their characters. If you make a mistake, correct it as much as you can and learn from it. Do not ever regret the past. If it was good, then this is great. If it was bad, then this is experience.
– You cannot return to the past. So, do not dwell on wishful thinking. Rather, turn to reality and deal with it as happily and satisfactorily as you can. The only remedy for remorse is stopping it and moving toward what you want, without giving up to despair.
– Think positive: for the mistakes you made are surely counterparted by correct stances and decisions you made as well.
– Never regret anything good: for all the good you do to others is kept by God, not humans. Trust God, and never stop doing good things to people. A wise man once said, “Life taught me to make my a heart a big town which houses are love and roads are pity and forgiveness, that I should give, yet never wait to take.”
General Bishop
Head of the Coptic Orthodox Cultural Center
